Life Recap

Dear Blog, Bloggers, Blog Readers,

I write to say how deeply sorry I am for neglecting you.  It's true I have been M.I.A. for much too long now, and all my dreams of wanting to create more with this blog when I moved it over, have been pushed aside.  I'm trying to focus, find balance, find a regular schedule, but at times I find myself lost somewhere between work, cleaning house, riding bikes, racing bikes, and just plain living.  Ten years ago I was a senior in high school scratching at the door to leave my parents house.  I had my life together, I was 18 but felt 25.  I was responsible, organized, punctual, and I had dreams.  My life was diligent, to say the least.  I went to bed at 9pm every night, I brushed my teeth at 7pm every night and wouldn't eat anything once my teeth where brushed.  I woke up every day when my Dad came in to get me up for school.  I showered, dried my hair, put my make up on, got dressed, and went after the day.  Fast forward ten years and I find my self a sloth soaking in my own sweat hardly able to find energy to get in the shower.  You know what I lost somewhere a long the way?  Balance.  I can't balance my life anymore, I no longer have that structure that I thrived off of growing up.  You know what I thrive off of now?  Being at home.  Somewhere between 18 and 28 I became anti-social (okay I'm not anti social I promise, I just love being at home), I became a home body, and I lost my balance along the way.  It's like every year I regress in age, I'm distracted and unable to focus.

What are you getting at Courtenay?

This last weekend I realized my life revolves around biking (how did I just realize this).  I arrange my work schedule so I can train, I live to train, and I work to live, but I haven't found that balance between biking and life.  What made you write about such an obscure topic you ask?  Last weekend I attended my first 3 day fitness conference/convention and I had the time of my life.  Attending the conference reminded me of my love of fitness, health, and all things human physiology related.  The conference reminded me about how amazing it feels to help people move, to help people feel functional, to help them enjoy their day to day activities.  The conference made me realize that I have neglected the profession that is so near and dear to my heart.  I think I was put on this planet to help people move, seriously, activity has ALWAYS been a part of me, has always been ingrained in who I am and somehow along the way health, fitness, and sports led me to biking and for that I am SO grateful.

Yes, I have goals on the bike, yes I want full sponsorship, yes I want to win races, yes I want to be "that" person (but who doesn't), but with every training day, with every race I enter, and every client I meet, I inspire them, and that's what drives me to train (and so I don't get dropped in the road races).  If I can get 1 more person on a bike, in the gym, going for walks, or in my classes, then I am a successful, inspirational trainer.  I live the life I live because I believe in it, not because I want to make money.  I believe to be healthy you have to move, I believe to be fit you have to challenge yourself, I believe when you challenge yourself you grow as an athlete and you learn something you never knew you could do.  I look at myself as a cyclist and I tell myself I need to get faster.  I look at my self as a fitness professional and I tell myself I need to learn more so I can better my clients and help them achieve their goals.  The challenge now becomes balance.  How do I balance my career choice/passion with my hobby?  In time I believe this question will be answered, but for now, truthfully,  I'm okay with my unbalanced life, I'm okay with not having everything in the world, I'm okay with working part time.  Will I do everything I can to be the best at my job, to help my clients, keep them coming back and seeing results?  Absolutely, but ultimately you only live once and you are given one chance to go for those dreams, and my time is now.